Courtesies

This week I went to a mom's group that our church holds once a month.  They have volunteers who watch our kids (God bless them!) while about a dozen of us listen to the speaker, usually one of the pastor's wives, for about 40 minutes and then we break into groups of 3 or four to have a casual discussion while to we try to apply the message to our own lives.  I've tried the other mom's group out there and while I certainly had fun, I find for myself that this smaller (and quieter) group of women who enjoy digging into God's word to guide them as mothers and wives all the while remaining light enough to enjoy some good laughter together, recharges me so much more.
Anyway, the real topic of this post is the handout that was given at our last meeting.  Being the first meeting of this year, it was a sort of the expectations of our conduct being laid out.  All week I've been rereading this and not because I'm nervous about breaking one of the rules but because what it says is so simple and yet so very profound in how we treat our relationships today.  I hope Andrea doesn't mind but I just had to document it somehow for my girls.  Sage and Clare, someday when you read this I hope (really hope) that you can truthfully say that I held up these "courtesies" in my relationship with you, your Dad and everyone else, and that this will always be the desire of your heart to treat others in this a way--even when such honor is not returned.  I know that I will fail at this more than once and when I do, I pray God or you will show me the fault I hold and I promise I will say I'm sorry and ask for your forgiveness.  What teaches people the most is our own actions towards them and when the actions do not coincide with the words of our mouth, lessons will go unheard and never applied.  I can never make you choose to live any certain way but for better or worse, I know my actions will remain an example to you for the rest of your life.  With that thought, I know I need to pray A LOT! 

With some editing (italics being mine), I give you--

Mom Time Courtesies

  At the heart of any courtesy is putting the interest of others above your own, or "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you."  -Mathew 7:12

    

     1.   Be as consistent as you can.  We know that things come up and when they do, just let others

           know your change of plans.  Work at making your yes' be yes and your no's be no.

     2.   Be as prompt as possible.  Girls, I will work at breaking a generational habit of being late by

           showing up when you expect me and getting your where you need to be when you need to be,

           remembering what it feels like to walk late into a quiet room full of  people.  As you get older,

           more responsibility will fall on you to get yourself ready, but right now at your age, it is

           only my fault if you are late for something.

     

     3.   Be trustworthy.  Please treat information shared in discussion and prayer requests as

           confidential unless a person gives you permission. 

           "Honor one another above yourselves"   Romans 12:10

     4.   Listen.  Often in discussion people only want to be heard.  Be a good listener and only give

           advice if asked.  Be encouraging. 

               a.  "My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, [and] slow to 

                    speak..."   James 1:19a

               b.  "He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame."  Provers 18:13

               c.  "In humility consider others more important than yourselves"  Phillipians 2:3

               d.  "...stop passing judgment on one another."  Romans 14:13

               e.  "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the

                    Head, that is, Christ."  Ephesians 4:15

     5.  Be real.  Be willing to be open with your life.  Openness requires transparency and

          authenticity.  Remember, God is not looking for perfect wives or mama's; He is looking for

          those who know they are not perfect.

     6.  Work for Unity.  Unity is a priority and a goal. 

               a.  "Be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's

                    faults because of your love.  Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind

                    yourselves together with peace.  We are all one body, we have the same Spirit, and we

                    have all been called to the same glorious future."  Ephesians 4:2-4

     7.  Don't Slander.  Although we encourage all to honestly share challenges and struggles during

          discussion and prayer times.  Please do so in a way that protects the reputation of your

          husbands and children.  This is not a place to recklessly vent complaints.  Take great care when

          your share about or pray for your husband and/or children (and friends) so as not to slander

          them.

               a.  "Do not slander one another"  James 4:11

I don't know how to end this post other than to say I love you girls and I'm so proud to be your mama.  More than you'll ever know.

Be Flexible Thursday

Thursday has become our here, there and everywhere day.  It starts out with dropping Sage off at school and then at 9:30am I take Clare to gymnastics.  I usually try and knock off some errands in that 40 minute window.  After lunch and Clare's nap, we pick Sage up from school, run home for a quick snack, a change of clothes and then whisk her off to her hour long gymnastic class at 4pm.  We meet Brent back at home a little after 5pm and then head off to our home group bible study (kids included) that goes until 7:30ish.  I always feel exhausted by the end of this day but it's worth it to me to be able to contain so much in one day so that the rest of the week is much more relaxed and freed up. 

I took the camera to both of the girl's gymnastic classes yesterday.  They go to Red River Valley Gymnastic which has an amazing facility and they both seem to really enjoy it.  The funny thing is that Clare's class is the only one going at that time and usually there is only about five kids in it (although yesterday there were just two) while Sage's class time has many classes going at the same time and yesterday I counted up to 70 kids and I know there was even more than that.  However, they've really mastered handling that many kids and the student to teacher ratio is still low enough that you never feel the sense of chaos.  It's incredibly impressive and I think I should maybe start taking some notes! It's fascinating to me that both of the girls have a strong desire to take gymnastics when I was so much in love with it myself when I was a kid.  We're really opposed to pushing the girls into being involved in only the sports and activities that we love or did as children because we like to encourage their individuality and interests in order to help them gain confidence in themselves and in the choices they make.  So before they are signed up for any class, we'll go over all the possible options out there, from swimming, to soccer, to t-ball to ballet.  Only one activity can be chosen and so far, this is what they really want to do.  I'm going to just enjoy it while it lasts and maybe brush up on some old skills in the meantime.  :)

One thing I want to mention about these pictures is that I wasn't allowed to use a flash in the gym which made it difficult to get a crisp image--especially during Sage's class so my apologies to you if you're forced to squint.



The lady in the pictures with Clare is Miss Jenna and she is her teacher and often Sage's as well. 
She seems to know the name of every kid that comes into the building and every kid knows hers and loves her.  She will demonstrate for them one time a long circuit of skills she wants them to work on and at the end she'll always say "Okay, go play." and I'm always shocked when I see the kids going through everything she just asked of them and remembering how they were suppose to do it all the while having a fun time.  I cannot say enough great things about her.



This is a balancing exercise where Sage is playing catch with another girl while on a balance beam.  They play this for awhile until the teacher tell them to switch and then they'll go to the next beam for a different exercise.

Noise Pollution

Last month we got a scathing letter from an anonymous group saying it represented our neighborhood's interests in preventing noise pollution and that we had a toxic problem in our backyard:  our dog, Miles.  It went on and on about how he is disturbing the peace and that his noises are "illegal" and that it is in our best interest to have him professionally trained to stop all forms of barking because they would hate to see this issue be taken to court where we may be forced to have Mile's vocal chords cut.  You would understand our shock in the contents of our letter if you knew our dog.  He does bark, that is when he sees someone in uniform or sometimes when other dogs walk by.  He is not barking all day long and if he does I just tap on the window and he'll stop.  The one annoying behavior to us is that he whines if he sees us outside while he's in his kennel but none of this would constitute the accusations and threats in the letter we received.  The best part is that an address or phone number of the person/persons is nowhere to be found on this letter, keeping us from even getting a chance to discuss with them the issues they are having with our dog.  So we've assumed the person must be one of our next door neighbors and to let them know we've heard their frustration loud and clear, if Miles ever barks or whines while Brent is at home, he yells outside in a very loud voice, "Miles!  Stop barking or they'll cut your vocal chords!"  We always get a little chuckle from this.
Last night Clare was pretty wound up and being a bit of a stinker when tucking her into bed and I ended up saying goodnight to her and going downstairs all the while hearing her pretending to cry in protest.  After a bit I heard footsteps, then a door open and then Sage yelling at the top of her voice, "Clare! You better be quiet or they're going to cut your vocal chords!"  I went to the stairs and asked "What did you just say?"  and she just burst out laughing.  I couldn't believe she had just said that and I started laughing so hard.  However, not a peep could be heard from Clare's room.

Recap

Here's a quick summary of where we're all at now in the time that's passed since the last post.  I'm going to make this super quick as minimize potential boredom. 
Our biggest change is that Brent finished is military time last June which meant we would be moving from Omaha to Grand Forks, ND for one year while he does an OB fellowship.  He was so excited the day he got out that he did a cartwheel in front of everyone at a formal dinner for the family medicine residency program that night.  I guess that all I can say is that Brent is still Brent and I still love him more everyday.  :) It was bittersweet to leave Omaha after seven years of living and growing our family there.  We really loved living in Nebraska but the thought of moving back up north and being close to our families was so exciting.  Last summer we spent time in seven small towns in MN in an effort to figure out which one was the place to finally settle.  God gave us the peace and joy we were hoping for the minute we got to Morris, MN.  Brent has signed with them and we will be moving there once his fellowship is over.  This time here will give Brent the skills to do c-sections which will be a great asset for his practice in Morris.  I am in the meantime really enjoying Grand Forks and was really surprised to find out what a neat place this little city is.  People here live very active and outdoor lifestyles (I'm guessing because the frigid winter forces them to spend so much time indoors!) and I'm constantly running into people overflowing with genuine kindness.  Seriously, this is a great place, who knew?!  I'm slowly working on becoming certified as a doula and will hopefully complete that in the time we're here.  I love the work and feel like it's something God made me specifically for this kind of work.  Right now it's a bit tricky to really invest myself in it with Brent's odd hours and also the age of the girls but I'm thinking that as soon as they are both in school I will start working on getting more clients and also do childbirth education. 
As for what's been going on with our girls, I'll start with our youngest and little spitfire, Clare.  She is now three going on eight.  Potty training is well past us and we are enjoying a diaper free house immensely!  Clare is pure delight to us with her sweet little (and at times loud) voice.  In fact, I'm quite certain that she feels any silence should be filled and will dutifully take that responsibility upon herself.  All day long she is taking notes on the world around her and trying to put it all together in a way that makes sense to her and the best part is that she'll try and share with you what she's figuring out.  I'm going to have to start writing them on this blog because it's so stinkin' cute.  When she's not chattering away, she's singing songs she knows or else has made up.  The made up ones are my favorite and while they have the potential to never end, they usually contain a theme and sometimes even plots.  Last night was one with an impressive vocal range of notes and was about the moon needing to be around at night but alas, it went missing and, from what I could tell, she was heartbroken.  No worries though, the moon returned and all the land was happy again.  Clare is loving her gymnastics class and is completely unaware of what a peanut she still is and never let's it hold her back from trying to do anything the big kids do.  Since we have this floater year here we decided to keep her home this year and just have her go to one year of preschool instead of doing two like Sage did.  Instead I'm working with her a few days a week in some preschool books and making a point of having our own "field trips" every once in awhile.  Both her and I are really enjoying it so far but I must say that this is going to be the farthest we go in the world of homeschooling.  While I am certain that God calls some families into homeschooling, I know that He has called us to send our kids to public schools.  :) 
Sage finished her last year in preschool and it was amazing to see the difference in her work when compared to the first.  The changes that we've gone through lately have had more of an impact on her then Clare simply because she's older but she's also done really well with it too.  The hardest part by far has been having to leave her two closest friends she has known since she was six months old.  Hard as parents to make her go through this too but we know at the same time that it can be a really good thing as well.  She was able to get past her fears of kindergarten and started the first day so excited and has loved it so far.  She seems to be doing well to but you wouldn't know it from the information she gives us.  I know she gets tired of all the questions we ask her about school everyday but for all our effort all we can gets are tidbits about what her class is working on, that gym was awesome and what she had for lunch.  What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in her classroom!  The other day her teacher, Mrs. Rood, walked up to me as I was dropping her off and said "She is so sweet!" and went on to say some other nice things but that is one of the things I love the most about Sage is how kind and gentle she treats others.  For certain there are exceptions when it comes to her sister, but Sage has been blessed with a tender heart that often shows itself in wanting to take care of others.  She'll cover you with a blanket when you want to rest and is always wanting to help put the dishes away or set the table and pour our milk.  Her big struggle is letting go of things like clothes that she has grown out of or baby toys she once used.  With God's guidance, we're working on that.  Sage still loves swimming and did a lot of it this summer.  On a trip with Brent's family to Charleston, she swam every day for hours--one day going none stop from 7am to 2pm.  But when we gave her the choice between continuing swimming lessons through the fall or taking gymnastics, she surprised us with wanting to do gymnastics.  I have a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with seeing Clare in her new leotards. 
I totally skimmed over all that went on in the last year, missing things like selling our house in one day, traveling so much this summer that I counted packing a suitcase 10 times in three months, running in a half marathon, not to mention the many great places we went to int the Omaha area our last year there (I'll share them with you if you're ever planning a trip) but this will have to do because days are passing and there are so many new things to discover and share.  All I can say is that our blessing are so great and we have so much to be thankful for. 
"God has been faithful, He will be again."  ~Sara Groves

A Great Day

I know I said I was going to catch up on what we've been up to over the last year but yesterday was such a neat day that it must be noted first.

To be honest, I woke up dreading the day and had a shameful, grumpy attitude to go along with it because Brent had to be at work at 7am and would be working all day and night. Ugh. So right away, while rubbing the sleep from my eye, I tell God I'm sorry for having this bad attitude and also asked if He would stay next to us throughout the day and keep us in His perfect will because life is so much more happier there. The girls and I had our breakfast and slowly woke ourselves up and before long it's time to get ready for church. This is a long process with two parents let alone one parent who is as indecisive as her five year old on what to wear. It was raining out as we pulled up late to church and normally I'd be a bit crabby at this point but I think I was doing okay. We saw an odd sight as we were walking in of a couple guys directing a driver up on to some blocks where they were, apparently, about to do an oil change for him--right in front of the church doors. Next, we're greeted just inside the church by two of the pastors dressed in bright orange t-shirts and jeans as we say "hello" in our proper (and well thought out, I might add) Sunday bests. Pastor Pat gives me a funny look and says, "Were you here last Sunday?" I tell him no and that we had been out of town. I know it's not necessary but I can't help but always feeling like I should explain church absences--especially to the pastor. He said that this their annual Sunday where they cancel services and tell the congregation the week before "don't just go to church, BE the church." They place an ad in the paper with a number people can call if they have work that volunteers can do for them. I got so excited as I'm listening to him because I just love these kind of service acts so I asked him if there is any project that would be appropriate for me to bring the girls along with so they can help too. He gave me the address to an 80 year old woman's house who needs help with her yard work and washing windows. We rushed home to change our clothes, grabbed our gardening gloves and headed to Ms. Lucile's house. There were several people working there already and they directed us to a couple apple trees that needed picking. My heart jumped inside because this is something the girls and I did a lot in Omaha at local apple orchards and we've missed it this fall because there are few apple trees that can grow in this cold climate and orchards are nowhere to be found. It felt like I were being blessed as much as Lucile because of this amazing opportunity to teach the girls about what it means to show love to others around us through selfless acts of service. They were so thrilled that she was going to have all those apples to make apple pie with! We also worked together in washing down windows on the outside of the house. Right before we left, Clare spotted some flowers and said she wanted to pick them for Ms. Lucile so we snipped a few day lilies and Clare brought them into to give to her. Lucile was so sweet and I found out that she use to be a teacher so I would imagine it meant all the more to visit with Clare and have a good chat.

We drove home exhausted, hungry and so happy. I had to chuckle as I thought about the dressed up state we started in compared to the mud smeared mess we were now. Work is always so much more satisfying if you can come away from it good and dirty.

As we sat down to eat, I asked to Sage if I could check her loose teeth. Two bottom teeth have been quite loose lately and the night before, one of them had looked like it could come out at any minute. I gasped when I saw in its place a little gaping hole. I asked her and asked her if she remembered the tooth coming out but she clearly didn't. I checked everywhere but there was no tooth to be found. After reassuring her that we could write a letter to the toothfairy explaining what happened and she would understand, we called Brent so she could share her big news. It was a big deal as this was the first tooth to come out on its own accord. The year before, her top two teeth had to be pulled out after one was fractured from a run in with Clare's head. No harm was done to Clare's head in case you were wondering.

Later, I took them to the mall to have a little girls shopping time and while we were taking some silly pictures in one of those photo booths, Sage started shouting "Mom! My tooth fell out!" Sure enough, there in her hand was the other loose tooth. We went to visit Brent at the hospital after that and she was so proud to show him her little baby tooth. I won't mention the little squabble that flared up when sister Clare wanted to be the one to carry the tooth around.

That night as I was tucking Sage in I remembered our prayer from the night before and asked Sage if she did to. She didn't and so I said "Remember you were really nervous about it hurting when the tooth fell out and also what if it bled? So we asked God to help the tooth come out tomorrow on its own without any pain or bleeding." I asked her if it had hurt when the tooth came out. No. Did it bleed? No. She got a big smile and said "Mom, we can ask God for whatever we want!" Oh boy. In the end she thanked God for helping the tooth come out and asked for Him to help the new teeth come in fast, not too fast...just kind of slow. :) Then I went to Clare's room and she prayed "Thank you God for all the pretty flowers that you made special for me. Thank you God and thank YOU Jesus. Amen"

It was a great day.

It's Been Awhile

I'm trying this again. I just sat here for the last half hour, changing and tweaking the template to make this space feel fresh and new. I feel like I'm just starting out on some major spring cleaning and, let's face it, this place hasn't been cleaned for almost two years. This blog was started with the intentions of capturing glimpses of our every day lives so that the girls would have sort of a treasure of memories to look back on and read when they are older. As everyone knows, life can get busy and when things became crazier this blog was the first to be dropped. It was a welcomed break but I'm ready to get going again on this project. My little family has gone through quite of few changes and new experiences and more are on the way (no Mom, I'm not pregnant!). I just want to savor and enjoy every experience God is leading us through and, just as the Israelites did in the Old Testament, document the many blessings we have to be thankful for so that when we hit the bumps and hard places is life's road we will be able to look back and remind ourselves how God has not and will not leave us on this journey. I'll try and do a quick (or as quick as possible) catch up tomorrow and we'll go from there. See ya!

Here We Go Again

Today brought me face to face once again with my least favorite subject on parenting: potty training. This morning Clare dragged Sage's old potty chair into the middle of the room and said "Potty? I go potty?" Really? Already? Because she's got another week of being only one year old so I figure I should have at least six more months available to make lame excuses of why we haven't started down that road. But my sweet, little darling's demands are getting louder and more insistent and since I definitely do not want to direct anything negative towards that chair I smile and sweetly say, "Okay, let's try!" with as much excitement as I can muster. Thus began the morning of "Potty!" and the subsequent running to the little white varmint so I can strip off her diaper and then watch her sit for two seconds and then jump up and yell "All done!" In case you were wondering, not one of those trips were actually successful but then, I wasn't expecting them to be. Her excitement was catchy though and when she woke up from her nap with the same subject on her mind, I made a risky decision by stripping her down to bum, plopping the detestable seat in front of the tv and plopped "Elmo's Potty Time" into the dvd player. I figure if anyone can get the idea through her head, it should be Elmo. She sat for awhile before the thrill of being diaper-less got to her. There were scoots around the house and dances in front of the seat but every so often she'd come back for a sit. I noticed that she was starting to stuff toys into the vestibule for germs and as I was explaining to her that this was not for toys, only --- and ----, I noticed her socks were wet. I must say this didn't surprise me or disappoint me in the least. I know I jumped the gun a bit but curiosity had gotten the best of me. I started to look for the scene of the crime and when I finally found it I had to laugh out loud. The little stinker had stood right on top of an Elmo book and drenched it. And not just any Elmo book but a book with an Elmo puppet built right into the middle of it. She literally peed on Elmo! I guess Elmo did have sort of influence on her!