Courtesies

This week I went to a mom's group that our church holds once a month.  They have volunteers who watch our kids (God bless them!) while about a dozen of us listen to the speaker, usually one of the pastor's wives, for about 40 minutes and then we break into groups of 3 or four to have a casual discussion while to we try to apply the message to our own lives.  I've tried the other mom's group out there and while I certainly had fun, I find for myself that this smaller (and quieter) group of women who enjoy digging into God's word to guide them as mothers and wives all the while remaining light enough to enjoy some good laughter together, recharges me so much more.
Anyway, the real topic of this post is the handout that was given at our last meeting.  Being the first meeting of this year, it was a sort of the expectations of our conduct being laid out.  All week I've been rereading this and not because I'm nervous about breaking one of the rules but because what it says is so simple and yet so very profound in how we treat our relationships today.  I hope Andrea doesn't mind but I just had to document it somehow for my girls.  Sage and Clare, someday when you read this I hope (really hope) that you can truthfully say that I held up these "courtesies" in my relationship with you, your Dad and everyone else, and that this will always be the desire of your heart to treat others in this a way--even when such honor is not returned.  I know that I will fail at this more than once and when I do, I pray God or you will show me the fault I hold and I promise I will say I'm sorry and ask for your forgiveness.  What teaches people the most is our own actions towards them and when the actions do not coincide with the words of our mouth, lessons will go unheard and never applied.  I can never make you choose to live any certain way but for better or worse, I know my actions will remain an example to you for the rest of your life.  With that thought, I know I need to pray A LOT! 

With some editing (italics being mine), I give you--

Mom Time Courtesies

  At the heart of any courtesy is putting the interest of others above your own, or "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you."  -Mathew 7:12

    

     1.   Be as consistent as you can.  We know that things come up and when they do, just let others

           know your change of plans.  Work at making your yes' be yes and your no's be no.

     2.   Be as prompt as possible.  Girls, I will work at breaking a generational habit of being late by

           showing up when you expect me and getting your where you need to be when you need to be,

           remembering what it feels like to walk late into a quiet room full of  people.  As you get older,

           more responsibility will fall on you to get yourself ready, but right now at your age, it is

           only my fault if you are late for something.

     

     3.   Be trustworthy.  Please treat information shared in discussion and prayer requests as

           confidential unless a person gives you permission. 

           "Honor one another above yourselves"   Romans 12:10

     4.   Listen.  Often in discussion people only want to be heard.  Be a good listener and only give

           advice if asked.  Be encouraging. 

               a.  "My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, [and] slow to 

                    speak..."   James 1:19a

               b.  "He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame."  Provers 18:13

               c.  "In humility consider others more important than yourselves"  Phillipians 2:3

               d.  "...stop passing judgment on one another."  Romans 14:13

               e.  "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the

                    Head, that is, Christ."  Ephesians 4:15

     5.  Be real.  Be willing to be open with your life.  Openness requires transparency and

          authenticity.  Remember, God is not looking for perfect wives or mama's; He is looking for

          those who know they are not perfect.

     6.  Work for Unity.  Unity is a priority and a goal. 

               a.  "Be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's

                    faults because of your love.  Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind

                    yourselves together with peace.  We are all one body, we have the same Spirit, and we

                    have all been called to the same glorious future."  Ephesians 4:2-4

     7.  Don't Slander.  Although we encourage all to honestly share challenges and struggles during

          discussion and prayer times.  Please do so in a way that protects the reputation of your

          husbands and children.  This is not a place to recklessly vent complaints.  Take great care when

          your share about or pray for your husband and/or children (and friends) so as not to slander

          them.

               a.  "Do not slander one another"  James 4:11

I don't know how to end this post other than to say I love you girls and I'm so proud to be your mama.  More than you'll ever know.