The Embrace of Everything Girly

I have a confession, I bought a Cinderella/Barbie type doll for Sage yesterday with no prompting at all on her part in an effort to steer her away (just a bit) from bugs. I was sharing with my mom yesterday morning about the little apple picking adventure I took the girls on and how Sage had spent most of the time digging worms out of the most rotten apples and examining them as they crawled around her fingers. GROSS! At least that was my thought but of course I love her curiosity so I have to be all "Isn't that fascinating Sage? A slimy, squishy worm that seems to love slithering all over you!" And then yesterday, while I was trimming the bushes that had taken on jungle size proportions, she was in the midst of it looking for bugs and eventually pretending that the fuzzy ends of weeds were caterpillars. So I have decided that it would be in my own selfish, I-don't-want-to-be-grossed-out interest to introduce her to a new world of fun. And what is more fun than a Cinderella doll complete with sparkles, a skirt you can take off and even a crown? Even better, this is a bath time Cinderella with a little watering can and a Gus mouse that squirts water out of the little soap bar he's holding. Let me tell you, once I saw that Sage could play in the water with this doll, I knew I had a winner and a reprieve from catching grasshoppers.

So far my master plan is working and all last evening and this morning Cinderella has had a break from all her chores and has been in sheer luxury at the Sage Spa Resort. Best of all, there was not a worm in sight.

We're Still Alive

Jane called me this morning because she was worried about us since I hadn't posted anything for a week. We're okay, I'm just exhausted. I have a new found respect for single parents and right now I can't wait to head up to my parents. God is good and He'll get us through this but that doesn't mean it's going to be without struggle. Let's just leave it at that.

On a brighter note, I just finished a parenting book called Negotiation Generation. It took a long time to get through this book as the writer seems to enjoy reviewing her points over and over until you are repeating them in your sleep. She believes that parents today over talk to their children about rules (or "fences" as she terms them) until it becomes a negotiation and power struggle with the child. Her plan is for you to be a proactive parent and let your child know your expectations for their behavior and the action that will be taken for misbehavior, before conflicts arrive. Then if the child disobeys, the parent no longer talks but in a respectful way will physically remind the child what is expected. Here's an example from the book: Mike is three year old who has a hard time sitting long enough to eat his meals and is lately using his hands to eat instead of utensils. Before dinner his mom says "Mike, at dinner you'll need to use utensils for eating and you'll eat sitting in your chair. If you forget, I will remind you." The meal starts and after ten minutes Mike picks up his chicken with his fingers; his mom hands him a fork. When he gets out of his chair, his mom returns him to the table. She may have to do this many times for many days but over time the consistency of the action she takes to show him what she expects will enable him to learn his mealtime "fence." There is obviously more to the book than this or else I would have given up reading it weeks ago but that is the main idea behind the book.

So armed with my new parenting skills I have been trying to implement this theory with Sage and for the most part, it's been pretty effective. There is just one problem that I've run into and that is what do you do when the conflict wasn't predicted and you find yourself in the middle of a meltdown? Get ready because I sooooo have an example for you.

Last week we went to the library. It had been a very long time since I had taken Sage to the library but thanks to the book "Curious George and the Library," I felt pretty confident that the expectations I had for Sage were all laid out and clear. She could pick out up to five books, one dvd and we had to use our quiet voices at all times while in the library. As we walk through the doors she sees it; the fish tank. Excitement overtakes her as she runs over to get acquainted with the "silly fish" until her hopes of enjoying them all to herself are dashed when two strange children have the audacity to run to the fish tank before her and steal away the fish's attention. It was then that I started to watch all my proactive parenting unravel. When my sweet little cherub started charging at the two children yelling "THAT'S MY FISH!" I quickly--without a word of course--grabbed her hand, did a quick u-turn and headed back to the door. Here's where my confusion comes in.
1) Was I suppose to predict there would be a fish tank and that Sage would freak out? I can't really leave the girls in the car to go scope out the situation. Maybe I was suppose to call ahead and ask if there was anything in the library that might spark an irrational territorial response in an almost three year old.
2) Am I still suppose to keep to the "no talking in the midst of a conflict" rule when I never laid out my expectations for fish tank in a library behavior beforehand?
3) Should I talk to her about the fish behavior but use the "no talking" rule for the "we do not use our loud voice in a library" fence that she is so clearly violating?

I decided, in my state of sheer panic, to stick with all show and no tell. I figured my best route would be sign language so I dug into my signing wealth of knowledge from the handy Baby Signing Time videos. Let's see...Fish--put hands together and make a swimming motion...are for--hold up four fingers...everyone--make one broad swoop of hand (I figured that by including everyone and not just the two kids I was being proactive)...no--shake head...screaming--make a lion-is-roaring face.
By this point I think Sage was crying more at my scary lion face than anything else so I decided to throw caution in the wind and got down at eye level and said in my very serious voice "Sage, you need to stop crying. The fish are not yours, they are for everyone. You can go look at the fish but if you can't be nice to the other kids then you need to stay with me. Let's go in and find some fun books to bring home." That seemed to work for a little bit and then it was like she wanted to try to claim the fish again so I put my hand on her shoulder and said "No more." After that she was fine. We got three books and a dvd and headed home. I think the biggest lesson I'm going to keep from this book is this: know your kid enough to know how they'll listen and learn in a way that's best for them.

Nobody Loves You Like Your Grandparents

My Mom's side of the family, the Johnson's, are perpetual teasers. I must say that when in their company, I fall right into the ranks with them. I'm not sure but this may have come from my Grandpa. He and my Grandma would babysit me when I was little and even at a young age I understood the game that was being played between him and me and teased him right back. At least, that's what I've been told. Sadly, he died when I was five and my memories of him are only a few. I know that he must have been special to me because after he died I found a big rock in the ground under the canopy of a pine tree and designated it as his tombstone. For years I would crawl under that tree and sit by that rock, just wanting to feel close to him. I'm sure I could find that rock to this very day.

Our girls are so blessed to have five grandparents who love them so completely and unconditionally and it brings such joy to Brent and I each time we watch them love on our kids. This last weekend when Bruce and Jane were here and their visit was a welcomed respite to our sometimes unbelievably long days. It was absolutely hilarious to watch Sage make an egg bake with Grandma Jane, amusing Jane with her exclamations of "I just so happy to eat!" And I love it that Bruce took Sage to the zoo the next day and spent what I'm sure was an obscene amount of time at the bird exhibit just so that she could experience the birds landing on her. We met up with them later at the hotel where he and Sage hopped back and forth from the hot tub into the pool until I had to practically pull the two of them out of the water just so I could get the girls home to bed. Even Clare, who is pretty much a Mommy's girl right now, was even getting a kick out of her grandparents.

Their visit really got me thinking about all the wonderful things I missed out on when I lost my Grandpa at such a young age. Not to get too morbid but this has led me to a plea I have for you, Bruce, Jane, Mark and Audrey (and Bev, but I'll have to verbally ask her because she doesn't have internet); please, I beg you, take care of yourselves and do whatever you have to do to be around for these girls and all the rest of your grandchildren for as long as possible. I want them to know for themselves the very special relationship they have with each of their grandparents and not just what others have told them. Thank you for loving them the way you do, I don't think I could ever tell you how much it means to us but then again, you are parents yourself and probably already understand.

Meet Our New Neighbor

Last week I looked outside and saw a little rabbit taking a nap in our front yard. A few hours later he was still in that same spot. I finally saw him hop from his cozy bed that evening when a hawk swooped down trying to snatch him up. The next day there he (or she...I have no way of knowing) lay in the exact same spot only this time in the pouring rain. It rained again the next day and again, there was the rabbit.


There he sat in the cold, cold rain.



As they gathered from far and near to see the strange rabbit who would brave such torrential weather.



I had a brief, horrible thought that maybe this rabbit had chosen his final resting place and was awaiting a peaceful passage. Disposing of a dead rabbit is definitely not something I want on my to-do list right now. So of course I charged at the rabbit in the middle of the thunderstorm to make sure there was a some life left in him and all my fears were laid to rest when he took off like a...well, like a rabbit.



So after explaining to Sage that no, we weren't going to play in the rain, Mommy just lost her mind for a second, the rabbit returned and we went back to our watch posts and were even joined by our cat, Madjka.



Have I told you about Madjka?




He weighs three more pounds than our seven month old daughter.



You would think Clare would be a bit intimidated but the enormous furball only seems to fascinate her.



Back to the rabbit. This is a picture of him today, still hanging out in our front yard and, thankfully, still has plenty of bounce in his hop. I don't know why he's chosen to spend his days here, being ogled by a curious two year old but I'm going to choose to believe that he's here to give us something to look forward to every day as we run to the front door to see if our new neighbor is home.

The Big Reveal

When Brynn moved out over a month ago I decided to make her old room into Clare's room. I was totally hating the green we had put in Clare's room so this was a good excuse to redo the nursery. Not to mention her room would now be further down the hall and a closet would be separating her from Sage's room. Brent's step mom, Jane, made these beautiful curtains so I was searching for an idea that would work with them (something modern and still little girl) and I found it in last month's issue of Parenting magazine. When Bruce and Jane visited this weekend they put the final touch to the room by hanging the curtains for me. Brent knew I was doing something in that room but I did not give him any clues as to what so this is the big reveal for him too. I'm totally happy with it and even though it probably took about 15 hours total to do, I would definitely do it again.

A Great Gift Idea

In my need to sometimes rush time a bit, I'm beginning to think about Christmas and I was going through my list of ideas I keep when I see something in a magazine or online that would seem like a great gift. I love to give gifts that are personal and meaningful and this one I've held onto a couple of years now because I think it's absolutely brilliant. You can send a picture of a house and this company will hand paint it onto an ornament for $30. I love this so much that I plan on getting one done for every house we live in. The website has a ton of other really great ideas, this one just tops my list. Anyway, check it out at http://www.personalcreations.com/shop/product.asp?product_code=3793&world_code=1&category_code=302&subcategory_code=3034&search_type=subcategory#

Bundle Up!

It has been uncharacteristically cold here in Omaha this past week and I'm LOVING it. There is that nice, crisp autumn briskness to the air that I look forward to every year. Fall is, hands down, my favorite season. To me fall is sitting by a fire in my cozy, chocolate brown sweater and sipping a cup of hot apple cider as the leaves slowly float to the ground around me. I always conveniently forget that all those gorgeous crimson and burnt orange leaves are going to have to be raked.

To be honest though, what I love the most is the clothes. All the cheesy summer clothes that always end up grimy after a sweltering hot day, are traded in for new duds that are effortlessly fabulous with an air of sophistication to them--that is, most clothes leave this impression except the sweaters with leaves and apples sewn on them. Ladies you know who you are, please stop wearing them. It is not necessary to attach felt leaves to you clothes to make them suitable for fall.

Back to the weather. The temperature has been dipping in the evening so in the spirit of Sage's book "Apple Tree Christmas," (Don't get me started on how it's possible to pick apples to hang on your CHRISTMAS tree) in which a terrible blizzard comes and the family that lives above a barn needs to bundle up the two girls and make a bed for them under the kitchen table next to the wood stove because it could drop to forty below, I too prepare the girls for the cold nights ahead in which I refuse to turn the heat on for. Yes, we will survive the frigid night the same way the Ansterburgs did except our nights will be in an actual house and not a barn...and it isn't quite a blizzard that we're experiencing...oh dear, I don't have a wood stove, just a gas fireplace and Sage might squash Clare if I lay them down together...however, I did rush out to buy them some thermal pajamas and I did make quite a show at bundling them up! That's right, for two nights we braved the cold until night three when the girls started waking up because of the constant chatter of their teeth and I was forced to turn the heat on. Well, maybe my great inspiration from "Apple Tree Christmas" will be to go pick apples with the girls this week and then bake dozens of apple pies in my wood stove...oh wait.

To Love And To Cherish

Brace yourselves, this blog is a bit mushy.

Six years ago I made the best decision of my life; I married Brent. Since then our marriage has grown into something that we both treasure and protect. There is a long story on what it took for us to get to the point of marriage that maybe I'll write about some other day but today I just want to say that I really love this man. Seriously, he is an amazing guy and I keep trying to figure out what I did that was so great to deserve him. He's brilliant and yet so humble you would never know just how smart he is. Everything about him is true to who he is, his words, his actions--there is no pretense, just honesty. He is not one to lavish on me or spew out romance constantly but there are words and letters (oh, he writes the most beautiful letters) spoken from the heart and I never have to question if he really means it or is he just saying it.
I use to work at a tv station that aired the Dr. Phil show and I would have to watch it and there was one thing that Dr. Phil said that I've never forgotten. He talked about how a husband should always aim to treat his wife in such a way that if she walked into a room filled with hundreds of other women she would feel that no one there was as loved and respected by their husbands as she was. The room could be filled with thousands of women and I know this would be true for me. And honestly, it just makes me want to love and respect him more.
You'd think I would be really sad that we can't be together this year on our anniversary but you know, I'm really okay with it. The doorbell rang yesterday and when I opened it all I saw was this enormous bouquet of flowers with legs at the bottom of it. Right after I brought them in the house Brent called and then we were able to chat online and see each other with our webcams. It wasn't a candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant but it was still wonderful. However, I do hope this is the last anniversary that we spend apart.

Love this!

Okay, here's my new item that is regularly thrown into the grocery cart. It's Breyer's fat free double churned ice cream--specifically the mint fudge. It's wonderfully creamy and only 100 calories per serving. You would never guess it's fat free. I love to find desserts that are low cal and low fat and still taste like a wonderful treat. You can enjoy a bowl of ice cream with no regrets and no thoughts of how this will cost you a few miles on the treadmill. My wonderful in-laws (who also read this blog) were just here and are usually less than thrilled at being offered something labeled fat free, however, they are doing really well on their new health kick and were willing to try it and from what I saw they were surprised at how delicious it was. That, or they were being super nice in my delicate case of being one step away from losing my SANITY! Anyway, if you have Breyer's ice cream where you live, try it and let me know what you think.

She Cracks Me Up

Since Brent has been gone Sage has been dealing with his abscence in different ways. At first she would pucker up her lips and say at the most random moments "I miss Daddy." Then she would sit with the video he made of himself reading stories to her and she would grab whatever book he was reading and read along with him--that is, she would read the story at her own pace, often reading one book as he goes through three others. Then she started to take a liking to a bear that when you squeeze the paw you'll hear Brent telling Sage he loves and misses her and so on. So she squeezes the paw and as soon as she hears his voice she holds the bear up to her face and yells "I love you Daddy. I miss you." That one still chokes me up every time she does it.

The other day she was playing with the money from her piggy bank when I grabbed a dime and asked her who the man on it was. She studies it for a few seconds and then very seriously says "It's Daddy." To which I, barely holding in the laughter, respond "that's Daddy?" She brings it up so close to her face that she's looking at it cross-eyed. "Yes...it's Daddy."

Personally, I don't really see the resemblance between FDR and Brent but hey, if it makes her feel closer to her Daddy, then move over FDR!