Dear Sisters

It is something special for me to have two girls. I grew up with three brothers and for years begged my parents to get another girl until I figured how good I had it in being the only girl. Still, I would watch my two younger cousins, Kelsey and Kenzie, whom I absolutely adore and harbor some jealousy in my heart at the close friendship they shared in which no one in the whole universe would ever be able to enter or even understand outside of that sisterhood. So when I found out we were having another girl I called my aunt Grace and told her "I'm getting my Kelsey and Kenzie!" To be honest, I was also thrilled because the thought of having a boy absolutely terrified me. No offense to those who have boys--it's just that penises scare me.

Today Clare, who is now 5 and a half months, was in her play station thing when Sage, now a little over 2 and a half, started to play pretend with her. The dialogue went something like this: "Clare, I go work now. It's okay, don't cry Clare Bear. Buh-bye!" and then she would walk to the corner of the couch turn around and say "Hi Clare!" and then it would start all over again. There was also a blanket involved that I think was suppose to be a door but Clare wasn't getting that part and kept trying to eat it. While Sage had this constant dialogue going Clare just had this big smile on her face and everytime Sage would get to the couch and turn around or try to put the blanket door back up Clare would belt out this absolutely delighted laugh. No one can make Clare laugh like Sage. Believe me, Brent and I have tried but we've got no game. Anyway, in that moment I witnessed the change of seeing the girls as two seperate people. They are always looked at as my daughters, different ages, a toddler and a baby. In that moment I saw them as sisters and what hope I hold in my heart for the bond that they can have together! I pray that they will always love and cherish each other--oh, I know there will be fights galore--but at the end of the day that they will always have each other to turn to and trust. To have a sister is a gift and girls, if someday you read this, just know that my heart rejoices that God gave you to us. Be sure to keep an eye on Kelsey and Kenzie, theirs is a friendship that I pray you will have with each other.

Welcome Baby Nathan!

Today a new soul entered this world. Nathan Alexander Snelling. Son of two dear friends of ours, Dustin and Amelia Snelling. Poor Amelia had a roller coaster of a pregnancy including a diagnosis early on of having two uterus' which automatically qualified her as a a high risk pregnancy. This could have been a very premature delivery with this condition but praise the Lord she made it to 38 weeks. Nathan is a healthy 6lb 8oz boy and it is reported that he looks like his Dad. This is their first child and we are just so thrilled for them.

Diamonds, Diamonds, Everywhere Diamonds

Today was a typical hot, muggy day in Omaha where just about the only way you can survive being outside for longer than five minutes involves drenching your body with water. Sage loves going to the pool but Clare was enjoying her beauty rest so that left us with filling up her $5 plastic pool and throwing whatever bath toys she had that could survive being in the same vicinty as our vaccuum of a dog, Miles.
If I were a wise mom, I would use this playtime to clean the kitchen where I could watch her from the window. However, the sight of this little two and a half year old all by herself, making half-hearted "whee" sounds as she crawled around the pool just looked so lonely to me. So I grabbed my swimsuit, slathered on the sunscreen and went and plopped my hiney down in the foot deep of barely cool water. I wish you could have seen her face. I'm pretty sure she was thinking, "my mom is the coolest!" At least, that's what I'll believe she was thinking. After awhile we started taking our cups and chucking water out onto the lawn. My guilty conscious was eased a little with the thought that at least I can say the lawn got watered today...somewhat. I watched as the water flew into the air and the way the sun reflected off it and in the simplicity of that moment I saw what those drops were. I turned to Sage and said, "Look Sage, we're making diamonds!" Then I showed her my wedding ring and how the water we were throwing in the air looked just like the diamonds in my ring. She totally got it and for the rest of the time we yelled "Diamonds!" as hundreds of those beautiful rocks fell into the grass. My house may be a mess (and I have a feeling that it will generally remain that way for a little while longer) but that is okay because today, Sage and I made diamonds.

The New Me

Alright, I'm trying this again. My friend, Amy Meeker, has this beautiful blog that she's using as a journal for her family. So, inspired by her, I'm going to attack this whole blog thing again from that perspective--a wonderful gift to give to my daughters someday. Because I am notoriously terrible at keeping up with posts, I will not be sharing this new me with anyone until I have firmly established a routine with it. So let us begin.

Our family is in a strange time right now. In three weeks Brent will leave to begin his training before being deployed to Afghanistan. All total he will be gone for one year. Yep, there's that sickening feeling in my stomach again. One year. Yea, I know we have it really great compared to others. Yesterday Brent told me about a guy who has been deployed for a total of 40-some months so far. Can you imagine? But inspite of knowing the blessing that this will probably be Brent's only deployment and that he will be going to a relatively safe place I am still so sad. He is my best friend and my favorite person in the whole world, how can I even comprehend a year without seeing him face to face or touching him or watching him play with his girls? I can't imagine how Brent must feel at the thought of missing a whole year of Sage and Clare's life. This guy loves his family like you wouldn't believe. I know I will never, ever have to ask him to make more time for me or the girls--he's always there, always ready to play, always ready to help.
I could go on and on about the sadness in this whole situation but who wants to read about that and I really don't care to wade around in those murky waters for too long. I need to stay positive for myself, for Sage and Clare and mostly for Brent. I always say that so much about life is the choices we make including our attitudes. So I'm choosing to look for what God wants to teach me these next twelve months and I will look for the blessings that I know He'll send my way. But please Lord, make the time fly!