Time with Family

Last weekend was such a treat for us when my brother, Ehren, and his wife, Ester, came with their children to visit us. More visitors arrived Monday after Ehren and Ester left, when Brent's dad, Bruce, and stepmom, Jane, stopped by for a couple days on one of their "circle tours" to see their kids and grandchildren. With our anniversary thrown in the midst of that too, it was four very fun filled days and it has taken me this long to regain the energy I need to sit down and think my way through this post!

We always have so much fun when Ehren and Ester visit. They are so layed back and yet are always up to trying something new. We mixed things up this time by nixing the usual zoo trip and instead went to Fontenelle Forest and meandered on the boardwalk through the forest while on the lookout for dinosaurs on exhibit right now. I'm not sure what the older kids liked better, the dinosaurs or racing strollers...with little kids in them. Ah yes, the lovely walk on a quaint wooden trail... the surrounding views of streams and deep cliffs covered in foliage...the lurching of your body over the side rail to avoid being run down by a crazy red head pushing a stroller with two little girls laughing their heads off as they race in break neck speeds on to the next innocent bystander. From the looks they were receiving, I thought it best to look innocent and put a good 20-100 feet behind me and the racing stroller.

The best part of being with Ehren and Ester (with any of my brother's families for that matter) is watching the kids play. When I was in high school and Ester was our exchange student, I was horrified by the budding romance between them. I think my opinion went something like "My college age brother with a girl who is a year younger than me? Eeeewwww, grosss!" Fortunately, nobody listened to me and during college I came to my senses and realized that if Ehren married Ester, I would get to have one of my dearest and closest friends be a part of all the major and minor events in life and I would get to be a part of hers. I remember being in my dorm room in college while she was visiting and saying to her, "Our kids will be cousins!" I think about that every time I'm enjoying these precious children play.

These are pictures taken in the forest and also the only time the camera was taken out during both visits. It's a problem I have when I'm enjoying the company so much that I forget all about capturing the moment.


The making of a band featuring Kade, Anika and Sage. Special performance of interpretive dance by Ester.



Love this picture. Kason was so tired and this was the only place that was good enough for him to be content.



Ehren did his best to carry some of the weight for Ester but even this would not do.



I want Brent to build this tree house. It was so Swiss Family Robinson like.

Ehren and Ester headed home Monday and Bruce and Jane pulled into town that afternoon. Since it was our anniversary, Bruce and Jane were sweet enough to stay with the girls that night so Brent and I could go out and celebrate. We ate really, really good food but maybe a bit too much of it because the next morning we were still full and had to ask Bruce and Jane if they would be willing to cancel plans to eat out that night so that our stomachs would be able to return to their normal size. Fortunately, they were okay with that. Bruce spent the morning at the zoo with Sage while Jane, Clare and I supported the local economy. Poor Brent had to work. The evening was topped off with a light meal...okay, kind of light until we got to dessert and had a divine blueberry coffee cake that Jane had made. She said she was going to bring some slices with them to have on the road but heh, heh, heh, they forgot and we got to eat the rest ourselves. :) Again, a very nice visit and the girls absolutely loved getting to spend time with their grandparents.

Both Brent and I felt so guilty for all the food we indulged in that we both ran over six miles the next day and have done several other workouts since. It was soooo worth it though.

Cuddle time

There is this perfect moment right before Clare's bedtime when she is just tired enough that if you gather her into your lap she snuggle in, sticks a thumb in her mouth while the other hand reaches back to gently pinch an ear. We had such a moment the other night while all four of us were outside playing around. Brent and Sage were off to catch crickets and beetles while Clare and I cuddled on our two person swing. We swayed in the breeze with my arms wrapped around her, feeling her body completely relax in the rocking motion. There is a silent agreement between the two of us that we could stay in this swing forever. I remember having these same moments with Sage when she was that age. It's the feeling of being in as perfect a moment as you can get this side of Heaven. In that moment I try and memorize every detail of my surroundings, the feeling of holding her so tightly, the overwhelming amount of love I have for her right then so that I can remember it for the rest of my life. I want to remember for the inevitable time to come when she is too busy or too big to cuddle with her mother or maybe for those times when she's not quite as endearing :) These moments are at the top of my list as one of my favorite things in being a mom.



As we sat I had this thought: is this what God feels when we completely surrender to him? When we quit running around, distracted and in non-stop motion and take a moment to sit in his lap? When we stop trying to do everything "all by myself" and allow His arms to surround us as we allow ourselves to completely relax in His care? Does He hold us in His arms, relishing in the love He has for us? Then I began to wonder when the last time was that I totally, absolutely chose to sit quietly in His presence and felt His peace be enough and everything to me. I say it and think it all the time that I need to stop worrying or trying to control things that are beyond me and just hand them over to God and trust...sounds good but honestly, I usually don't hand it all over. I hold just enough in my hands to feel like I'm not about to free fall into unknown territory. Instead of letting my body go limp and breathing in the knowledge of His love and care for me, I keep my back straight while I sit with Him, watching for any sudden movement that would compel me to stand up and leave that comfortable spot. I'm thankful for these moments when He shows me a new glimpse of His love and I resounded that night, as Clare and I swayed in contented bliss, to make more time to sit with my Father and let Him hold me for as long as it takes for me to not want to be anywhere else.

Proud Mama

Monday was a big day for Sage. It was her first day of preschool and I am happy to say that her mother did not break down in tears when she handed her precious little blond haired girl into the care of her teacher nor did she lose it when driving away. It's only because I know that Sage will be going to preschool another year after this before heading off to kindergarten which enables me to look at her two and a half hours, three days a week as more of an educational social outing rather than my Sagers making a step away from her dependence on us.

I feel it's important for me to describe her attire since we were too absent minded to remember to take pictures but then again, who ever remembers to take pictures when walking out the door to an educational social outing? Her choice of "first day of school outfit" was a long, green corduroy circle skirt with purple and pink polka dots and a white t-shirt with pink jacket which coordinated perfectly with her hello kitty backpack. One of the first things she told me when I picked her up at the end of school was that another girl had on the same shoes as her so apparently the day was not without drama!

Brent was able to go to work late so he could also witness this special day and he took it upon himself to get her bathed and dressed that morning. When he was trying to get her into her clothes she told him that she wanted to wear her pajamas to which, of course, he informed her that pajamas would be a major fashion no-no on her first day of school--maybe in high school kids would receive such a statement in a more open minded way but definitely not in preschool. Her response was to bolt out of the room. Brent thought she was heading downstairs to find me for a second opinion so he finished getting ready himself. On his way downstairs he passed the office and saw Sage, still in her underwear, sulking on the chair. He asked what was wrong and she said "I feel nervous." Ugh...doesn't that just tug your heart? They had the thorough discussion on why she didn't have to worry and how much fun she was about to have and before long, the two came downstairs and Sage was ready to get dressed. When we got to the school and waited in the line of cars to drop her off, I let Sage out of her seat and had her sit up front with me. She has this habit of talking gibberish in a happy tone when she's uncomfortable or nervous as was the case that morning, but we could tell as well that she was excited to find her friends and see what this whole school thing was about. Our turn finally came and as her teacher opened the door and greeted us, Sage belted out, "Hi Mrs. Hart!!" and off she went with hardly a look back. As we watched this precious girl of ours who suddenly looked so much older with a backpack on, make her way to the class I turned to Brent and said "I'm so proud of her." So much pride. No sentimental tears or worries over how the morning would go for her...just the wonder of watching Sage be able to identify a fear and work her way through it so bravely. Oh...I love her so much.

This morning was the second day of school and once again she was a bit nervous but not quite as much. She seems to like it so far and especially loves the part of getting to see her best friends Sara and Abbie. Clare and I are soaking up this rare time with just the two of us but that time does not go by without her asking "Er's Sage?" (where's Sage?) at least a half dozen times. I've always relished the thought that I (and Brent too) get to be our children's first teacher so it's both a little strange and exciting to be sending Sage off to what I suppose is her second teacher. No qualms though, her teacher is really cool and is very open to Sage's introverted ways. :) So I guess we're officially entering the world of show and tell, class trips, fears of head lice and the scramble to find the perfect snack food for an entire class. It's all so much fun (minus the head lice fears) and I'm completely savoring this special time in her life.

O Canada!

Two weeks ago Brent and I left the girls with my parents so week could take a four day fishing trip up to Canada. We drove up to a small town called Minaki and then took a 20 minute ride on a float plane to Long Lake where we stayed in the only cabin on this lake. No roads, no people, no Starbucks. Just the sounds of nature, the company of my husband and absolute serenity. It was probably the most calming and relaxing trip I have ever been on.

This is a view from the float plane at one of the many lake systems in that area.






Our cabin with gazebo ran mainly on solar energy but there was also a generator if we needed it.






The view off our deck.





Another view from the deck. Seriously, it was so beautiful to me that I could have just sat and stared for hours.








Of course, our main reason for going there was to fish. There were actually three lakes for us to fish on, the other two we had to portage (hike through the forest) to where there were boats waiting for us. It's been a rainy and cold season up there this year and the third lake, Marvin, we were told was impossible to get to because of water, mud and fallen trees covering the trail. We didn't seem to hear that part though, because both of us were stuck on the info that the biggest walleye were in this little lake. So on the last day there, with thunderstorms lurking around us, we decided to get a little adventurous and see if we could make it to Marvin. Let me just say at this point that I did not have rain boots...only old tennis shoes. The warnings of mud, water and fallen trees proved true and then some. The path often disappeared from us completely and we would wander around some until one of us would pick it up again. Did I mention that there are bears wandering around up there? I must say that it was quite a rush to make our way over trees, cut our way through brush and hop over small creaks. At one point I even got in touch with my gymnastic roots and walked, balance-beam-like, on a tree that had fallen over a creek we needed to cross. There were many times that we stopped and questioned our sanity in continuing on that trek but sheer stubbornness always seemed to win out. The excitement of finally making it to Marvin Lake was deflated when we saw the boat half filled with rain water and only one small pail to bail it out, not to mention some dark, purplish, clouds also heading our way. The only thing to do was bail that water as fast as Brent (bummer, only one pail) could and call the drizzle a nice break from the heat.

What's that you say? Turn around? Head back before the rain comes and lightning strikes? Who would do a thing like that? You city folk.

With the boat bailed we head out and drop our lines as fast as possible. It's a race between us and the thunderclouds to see what strikes first...lightning or a walleye. Then I feel it...yep that's a bite...SET THE HOOK. I pull in a 19" incher and feel a sigh of relief that our insanity had rewarded us with at least one fish. We bummed around for another 10-15 minutes without bites until deciding that it was probably best to get off the lake and start making the trek back. Five minutes into our hike we lose the trail. This surprises me a bit since I had figured we could just follow our tracks back but unfortunately, this was a place where we had lost the trail on the way there and all we have to follow are our confused steps that were taken on trying to find it. Finally I spot the trail and we head off again. Five minutes later and we're right back at Marvin Lake. I start to see visions of search parties finding us half eaten by mosquitoes and eating slugs to stave off the hunger pains. Thank goodness for modern technology and Brent's wisdom in bringing his GPS with us. By the time we make it back to the start of the portage the storm has passed over us and we are drenched and muddy but with a glow of triumph on our faces for accomplishing what was said couldn't be done. Normal people might head back to the cabin and get out of the sopping wet clothes to take a nice, hot shower but us crazies felt the only appropriate next move was to stay on the lake and fish for another hour or two.

It rained every day we were there except the first day but thanks to rain gear, we still fished quite a bit. We were allowed to keep two walleye per person each day for eating...and eat it we did. Brent made the most wonderful meals while we were there and just thinking about it now makes my mouth water. He made the classic fried walleye, walleye grilled with dill, butter and onions, walleye chowder (my personal favorite) and grilled walleye smothered with cheese, onions and mushrooms. Ooooohhhh, it was so yummy.








In case you were wondering, which I'm sure you weren't, it was the fisherWOMAN that caught the most fish and the biggest. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I'll leave you with this picture and story. This was the only stinker (literally) of the trip. Masked in all that lush green beauty and quaint boardwalk stands the outhouse. Now, I'm all for roughing it but let's get real here, these things are gross...I mean eeewwww...gross. Whenever I had to make the quick dash out there, I cautiously made Jason Bourne-like scans through the woods to make sure there were no bears lurking about, waiting to make their surprise attack. On one such mission I caught some movement in the brush. My keen senses told me it probably wasn't a bear but maybe a rabid skunk or porcupine. Fortunately I had stopped next to the open window to the kitchen where Brent was standing so I loudly whispered to him, "Brent, you have to come out here. There some kind of critter in the woods." He nonchalantly comes out, asks me where it was, walks directly to where I'm pointing and laughs. Turned out it was a sweet little rough grouse. In my defense, when I got up for a closer look it glared me down in a very vicious, cute sort of way.

So Happy Together

It's funny how time seems to change. I know that one second is always the same length of time and that one minute will always consist of 60 seconds but somehow, I can't wrap my head around how fast these last four weeks have went when two months ago, four weeks had seemed an eternity.

We had a countdown on the fridge that had been up since 24 weeks left of Brent's deployment and it was at 6 weeks remaining that I started having Sage pull off the page every Thursday to help her get excited for her Daddy's return. When Brent was within days of his arrival we headed to the mall so the girls could pick out whichever dress they wanted to wear to the airport. Sage picked a pink sundress with red, white and green trim and the perfect amount of puffiness while Clare picked a halter dress with stripes all over in the same colors as Sage. We were literally doing happy dances around the house in our excitement of seeing Brent. Finally, the day we had been waiting a year for arrived. He was scheduled to get in at 2pm so we spent the morning getting balloons to fill the house with and bunting to hang on the bushes. We decorated the yard with patriotic crafts we had made and hung a sign on the tailgate of his truck that read "Welcome Home Brent. We love you and are so proud of you. Love Ingrid, Sage and Clare." (Huge thanks to buildasign.com who gives away banners worth over $40 to welcome home returning troops) We got the butterfly cookies that Sage had picked out to make for this day all laid out and ready to eat when we got back from the airport. While part of this was done to welcome Brent home, my main goal was to make it a big deal for the girls. I guess I thought that if we made this day really fun and exciting to them then it would help them understand and transition better into the world where Daddy is home and that they now have two parents again to love them and take care of them.

We got to the airport at 1:45pm only to find out that his flight was delayed and would not be arriving until 2:36pm. Oh well, no big deal. We waited this long, what's another half hour. The tricky part was that neither of the girls had had their afternoon naps but I figured if I could keep them entertained then the meltdowns could possibly be avoided. So we watched planes which was a huge hit except for the fact that poor Sage thought every plane she saw was Daddy's. Clare visited with a nice elderly lady and her granddaughter for awhile until she got bored and start looking for opportunities to make a break for it. So we headed to this nice long hall that runs the length of the airport and is never crowded and the girls ran and ran and ran. Finally, at 2:25pm we made our way to the security checkpoint to plop ourselves down and watch for Brent. Five minutes turn into ten...then fifteen...then twenty. Yep, we've officially lost it. Sage has been saying every two minutes "Oh, I think he's here. Daddy's coming!" and I'm praying the whole time that she's right but now she's angry that he's not shown up yet. Clare is wanting nothing to do with sitting and waiting and is struggling to make it back to that nice hall which I would have been fine with but I have no idea when Brent is going to appear because the arrival time of his plane still says 2:36pm. Both of them are tired, crabby and on the verge of full out tantrums worthy enough to alert security and let's be honest, I would probably be throwing a fit myself. Not wanting to be the person everyone feels sorry for who fell flat on her face just short of the finish line and lost the race, I run to the nearest gift shop and frantically buy the first snack foods I can find: teddy grahams and gummy worms. Worked like a charm and I have no shame about it. At 3:15pm word is spreading that his plane had landed and we see the first passengers from his plane heading towards us. At this point the girls are acting like they could care less while my heart is about to beat out of my chest. Then I see him.

He's looking for us and has the biggest smile on his face when he sees us. Sage's smile matches his from cheek to cheek and is holding her arms out long before we reach him. She wraps her arms around him and does not stop hugging him nor does the smile leave her face until we eventually reach our car. Clare is not sure what to think about Brent and buries her face into my shoulder the first ten minutes until she decides that he must be a good thing and starts making shy smiles at him. The thing I remember the most about our reunion is that there was no happy screams or jumping up and down, just quiet joy and smiles mixed with tears (from me of course). I had brought my camera and had had many opportunities where I could have asked someone to take pictures of us in that moment of greeting each other but once I was there waiting but it just never felt right. When I talked about that later with Brent, he was relieved as well that there wasn't an outside intrusion of pictures being snapped and that the moment was kept private for us to cherish.

I didn't know if we would get that day. Neither of us were certain that he would be coming back alive so to say that I'm grateful to God is such an understatement that it almost seems insulting. I can't think of the fears I had for his safety without choking out tears which is, of course, what I'm doing right now and probably why it's taken me this long to write on the blog since he's been home. It's been a wonderful, peaceful, joy filled and healing four weeks. As hard as that time was when he was away, I'm thankful for the ways it has made both of us grow. I am married to a great man who is still able to amaze me daily after almost seven years of marriage. I love him and cherish him so much and can't see there ever being a day where I don't look at him and think about how great it is to be his wife and to know and love him. I will never take for granted this time we have together nor will I ever take for granted those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. There is a whole new group of troops that have stepped in to replace Brent and his team and what they face now is even more dangerous than when Brent left. We need to remember them and never stop praying for their safety.

Brent is doing great and is back to work now. The boxes of his stuff that he had mailed home from Afghanistan have, thankfully, stopped arriving and our house has recovered from the onslaught of army fatigues. It's taken awhile for the girls to realize that Mommy will no longer be attending to all their needs and while they are still working that one out, it's gotten much better. These days, nothing is more beautiful to me than watching the girls giggle and play with their Dad.

I just want to thank everyone who got us through this time with your support and prayers. Every prayer lifted up was heard and will bless us for the rest of our lives. We want to especially thank our parents, this was just as hard on all of you and yet you still encouraged and loved us through it all. Mom and Dad, thank you for letting the girls and I crash for literally months at your place and for suffering with a pleasant face through all my healthy food experiments. You guys and Ehren and Ester were a safe haven for me through that time and gave me the renewal I needed to make it through to the end. Bev, thank you for all the packages of gifts sent to the girls, they were like treasure boxes for the girls to open and were so much fun for them. Bruce and Jane, thank you for your visits and for always taking the time to play with the girls while insisting that I got a break whenever we were together. I was so touched that you spent the time making sure that I had a mother's day gift made by Sage and it is a flower pot I will always treasure.

I am reveling in living a life of normalcy right now and looking forward to some fun stuff we have planned over the next year. Our next adventure starts this Sunday when we leave the girls with my parents and go on a four day fishing trip in Canada. WHOOO HOOOOOO!

The Home Stretch

Thank the Lord, this is almost over! Brent has been given a fly out date of July 10th but there is a rumor going around that they may send him on the 4th and then it will probably take a week to get home. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am. I have packed our days full in effort to make the days go by faster. I think it's kind of working but it's also making me exhausted. The other night as I was tucking Sage into bed she asked "What's tomorrow?" As in, "what unnecessary outing do you have planned for us tomorrow that you feel you must strap us into the car yet again, drive us for who knows how long, only to endure another afternoon of hearing you ask us 'Isn't this FUN?'" Don't tell them but this weekend is the LaVista Days in which we will be embracing in full carnival spirit and next weekend is Papillion Days which I hear is even better than the LaVista Days AND there is a kiddie parade in the morning! YEAH!!!

In the meantime, I am nesting. Seriously, it's worse than when I was pregnant with either of the girls and going through that phase. I'll put it to you this way: The other day I decided that I needed to scrub and vacuum the inside of the car out (it really did need it) so that we could have a nice, squeaky clean car to bring Brent home in. Then I realized that we were bringing dirt into my nice, squeaky clean car from the dirty, grungy garage floor. So what do I do? I spend half of my day away from the girls while they play at Tina's, cleaning out the garage. We're talking haul everything out, wipe it down, clean the floor and reorganize the entire garage. People, I swept the wheels of the lawn mower for goodness' sake! My whole rationalization behind this madness is that I want all these little jobs done before Brent gets home so that we don't have to even think of doing them and are able to sit together as a family for hours upon hours, basking in each others presence.

Next up, clean out the kitchen cabinets then wash all the windows inside and out and then I should have just enough time to tile the kitchen floor.

Celebrating May Day

Hoping to start a new tradition, we embarked on the age old tradition of May Day baskets. Most Mom's probably have their kids sit down to an elaborate craft time where paper flowers are cut and glued together and then attached to piped cleaners after which the flowers are placed in the baskets that the mom hand weaved using the reeds she collected from the nature walk she took the kids on the day before. Since it's been a rainy week here we weren't able to get our nature walk in and thus had no weaved baskets on hand, I found some cute plants at the grocery store, had Sage glue a small flower cutout to a larger one, wrote Happy May Day on it and called it good.

The whole point of leaving a basket on someones doorstep is to ring the doorbell then hightail it out of there before getting caught, however, there is nothing fast in trying to herd a three year old and one year old around so this experience for them was more about a lesson in the joy in giving.

We had three plants to deliver. One to each of our neighbors and one to Tina, my friend who watches Sage and Clare twice a week and has had the most influence on me keeping my sanity while Brent is gone. The first neighbor is a couple who have a son-in-law themselves that is deployed. They are the kindest people who have looked over the house for us while we've been gone, shoveled the driveway for me this winter every time it snowed and basically have watched out for the girls and I while Brent has been gone. Turned out they weren't home when we rang their doorbell so we left the plant by their front door. It took a little convincing to get Sage to leave a plant by the door without actually giving it to anyone but eventually I was able to pull her away from it.

Our neighbors with three adorable girls all happened to be outside playing so their delivery was much more successful. They totally got a kick out of Sage giving them flowers and it was just what Sage needed to get really excited about delivering the next to plant. Sadly, there are no pictures of this transaction because I was busy coaching Sage through it and also keeping Clare from eating tulips and dirt.

Tina's house was next and this was the one Sage was most excited about...that may have been because she knew we were going to the zoo after we gave Tina her flowers.

They weren't home either.

I think it's safe to say that I got more out of this May day than the girls did. I knew the fun these people would have in finding flowers by their door but to Sage we were just running around leaving plants lying on the ground and Clare, well, she couldn't have cared less about what the mission was and spent most of her time playing with whatever rocks, dirt, grass or bugs that she could find. Does this mean we won't be making this day a tradition in the Barnstuble house? Absolutely NOT! Next year there will be weaved baskets, hand-cut paper grass to fill the baskets, sequined flowers, pipe cleaner bees....