I'm tired. Don't worry, I'm not going to sit hear and boo-hoo to you. I just need to tell everyone that going solo with the girls day after day is exhausting. The good news is that for the last week Clare has slept through the night (thank you Lord!) and then one of them usually wakes up at about 6am. However, I'm beginning to think that tiredness has more to do with the little amount of time that I get to myself. Most days their naps end up staggered and so that leaves me with about an hour to myself at night before I head to bed. That hour is very precious to me.
So that brings me to tonight. I got a babysitter because tonight was the MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) open house and I had thought it would be a good idea to join. Everyone says that it's good to commiserate with other Moms', right? This group meets in once a month in the evenings and then I think they also organize some playgroups. As this afternoon hit and let's just say that someone must have THROWN herself off the wrong side of the bed after her nap and was determined to make it known to the rest of the people in this house, I started to dread an evening surrounded by moms talking about their perky little children. All of a sudden the idea of me joining MOPS just sounded ludicrous to me. If there is one thing I know about myself it's that when I'm stressed, my true introverted side of me comes out and I just need to be by myself to recoup. So when Erin showed up to babysit I told her I was heading to Borders bookstore for the evening.
Ahhhh.
It's like getting a brain massage.
Here's the frosting of my evening; I'm walking through the aisles, still feeling pretty sorry for myself, which then annoys me that I have such a bad attitude so I start asking God to help me and to strengthen me. Literally two seconds after my quick prayer, my eye catches the name of my most beloved author, Corrie Ten Boom. If you've never read her book "The Hiding Place," please do. It's an amazing story of her survival during WWII after her family was arrested for hiding Jews and then the life she led after she was released. Just seeing her name brought tears to my eyes because the way she lived her life and just gave all of herself to God has inspired me more than I can describe since I first read "The Hiding Place" in junior high. Next to that book I saw her name with a title I'd never heard before, "I Stand At The Door And Knock." It's a book with forty never-before-published devotions that she wrote. This book was just published this year even though she died in 1983. I can't even tell you what this is for me except that there are tears running down my face right now. I feel like tonight God stepped in and did something for me that Brent would have done if he were here. It's almost like He said "Oh, she could use some cheering up. Let's show her this book, it will make her happy." It wouldn't have surprised me if I had found a bow on it! There is so much in this world that I don't know, or understand, or can begin to comprehend but what I know for certain is that God loves so completely and tenderly--we have all but to ask and He's there to show us how great He loves.
1 comment:
I'm bawling right now. I know that these things really happen and they are tender mercies from the Lord directly for us. How with all God has to worry about does he have time to listen to my feeble prayers and help me in the most tender ways? I'm so glad you recognized this as God in your life because as you go through these next months, this experience will remind you every time you think of it that you aren't alone and that you are precious to Him and that he is aware of specifically what you, Ingrid, are going through. It's just an amazing thing when you think about it. I'm going to go get that book.
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